How to pick yourself up when things get tough

Keeping a positive mindset with Kelly Weekes

Today, Kelly Weekes, a Marketing Mentor and Mindset and Confidence Coach for authors, has written a piece for us about staying positive when things get tough. Kelly helps her clients navigate the different stages and challenges of being an author so they can thrive in their career.  She is accredited with The Institute of Leadership. Whether you are an author or not, I think her tips could be helpful for anyone who needs a bit of a boost.

Life as a writer can be challenging. No matter how well things are going, there can be moments where it all feels a bit too difficult and overwhelming and that you’d rather be doing anything else.

Whether that’s being knocked back by an agent or publisher, a crushing review, or losing your confidence, or feeling overwhelmed and that it’s all too much.

Here are some tips to help you keep a positive mindset:

Recognise the steps you’ve taken and how far you’ve come already. This is such a useful exercise especially when your main goal, such as having your finished book, seems so far in the future that it feels that it is going to take forever . Once a week, and once a month, take some time to look back over the previous week and month and acknowledge and celebrate the steps you have taken. All those small steps are building up to your eventual goal and you’ll see you are making progress.

Avoid comparing yourself to others. This is a tricky one, especially if you are on social media a lot to promote your books. It’s very easy to see other authors succeed or achieve things you haven’t yet, or feel that they are doing everything better than you. First of all remember that what you see on social media isn’t the whole picture, you don’t know what is happening behind the scenes and what their circumstances are, you are most probably comparing yourself to someone at a different stage of the process.

I often suggest a simple reframe, so instead of seeing what they have achieved and being disheartened that it hasn’t happened for you yet, reframe it as it is showing you that what you want is possible and it’s possible for you too.

Finally a simple tip on social media, if there are accounts or people in particular that always leave you feeling a bit rubbish in comparison, mute them or unfollow them so you don’t have to see their content.

Ensure that you are making time for the things that give you joy. Making time for the things that light you up and make you feel good can help boost your energy and creativity. I often ask clients to create a joy list - the things that they love to do, from quick ones like savouring a really good cup of coffee to ones that take longer like a day exploring galleries, or a long walk in the woods - then look to see where they can plan these moments of joy into their days and weeks.

Don’t assume that your inner critic is telling you the truth. Remember that your thoughts aren’t necessarily the truth. Our doubts and inner critic are mainly there to keep us safe by holding us back so we don’t put ourselves in the way of ‘danger’ which could be anything from judgement by others or rejection. When you have a really negative thought try to look at it with curiosity, ask yourself what’s the evidence for that thought? What might it be trying to tell you?

Create an evidence folder that shows you the impact you’re making. Keep a record of all the good things that you’ve done, or have been said about you that you can look at when that negative voice tells you you’re not good enough. If you get a lovely email from a reader or your editor, keep it. File away all the good reviews you get. If your friend says something really nice about you and your book, write it down and file it away and keep that file somewhere close by to refer back to when you need a positivity boost.

Have a gratitude practice. Gratitude is talked about so often that it has become a bit of a buzz word but it is really quite a simple but effective exercise. Studies have shown that having a regular gratitude practice can boost your wellbeing. I like to do my gratitude practice in the morning but it can also be impactful in the evening. Simply make a list of the things you are grateful for, or the things that you are grateful for having happened today if you are writing in the evening. Over time you will notice the impact this has on your feelings of positivity.

Thank you Kelly! You can find out more about Kelly and the work that she does on her website or connect with her on Instagram.

What do you do to foster a positive mindset when you are going through a challenging period? Hit reply or leave your thoughts in the comments.