This is the final piece in this week’s short series on professional envy. You can read the previous pieces here and here.
Professional envy can hit any of us at any time, and it’s not a very pleasant feeling! Today, mindset coach
asks you to think about what those feelings are trying to tell you, and suggests some pro-active steps you can take when you feel jealousy creeping in.Professional jealousy is something that many writers and creatives can identify with. I think the reason that creative people suffer jealousy more than others is borne out of the fact that creativity is such a vulnerable space to be in.
Some writers find it hard to separate their self-esteem/ worth from their creative work because it’s so much a part of them and so feelings of jealously towards other creatives and writers are more intense; because of the vulnerability of simply being creative.
So for anyone who suffers from these feelings of envy, I have some thoughts and ideas that might help you view this differently.
Firstly, recognise that jealousy is totally normal.
It would be odd if you never felt jealous of other writers and creatives. All emotions are important signals and it’s ok to feel them and to explore them. When we feel triggered into jealousy, it can help enormously to simply take a breath and acknowledge the feeling and to know that it’s just an emotion that everyone else experiences it too - and it will pass.
We can also protect ourselves by removing some of the things that trigger us into envy in the first place. Perhaps this might be following other writers on social media or reading newsletters from people or organisations connected with writing or other writers, or certain publications.
It’s ok to take a step back from this.
You can mute social media accounts, unfollow people, unsubscribe or have a separate mailbox for emails that you only check at times when you feel ok to do so. We could all do with less time on social media generally anyway so take this as a good general step and remove some of those ways to regularly compare yourself with others and enjoy the feeling of being free from this content.
It also helps to give context to the success of other people. If you find yourself triggered by someone’s success, assess their journey and understand and see that it’s unlikely that what you see now has come from nowhere. Most ‘overnight successes’ have been beavering away for years. This person is riding high now, but they weren’t always, and it might not last either. Imagine how nice it is for them to enjoy this success in the context of all that, see them as a human being, just like you. Know that they still feel insecure, just like you do.
You can use your envy to fuel your journey.
I ask clients to reframe the knowledge that others have done or are doing better than them into an ‘if they can, I can’ mindset. If there are those who are getting ahead in their creative careers, who got a lucky break or won a competition, see that as a sign that this can happen to you too and believe that. If a writer is making money from their Substack, or seems to always be on people’s podcasts, or always gets asked to be on panels or run workshops, tell yourself that you can do that too, because they are proving it is possible.
Being curious about the success of others can distract you from the jealous feelings and allow you to get into a more positive mindset of possibility. Why does their work resonate with people? How have they achieved their success? What steps have they taken to get themselves noticed? What processes or habits around their work have they shared in blogs or articles that you can use for yourself?
When we find ourselves preoccupied with jealousy of other people’s achievements, it can also be a sign that we need to focus more on our own work and career. Are you feeling stuck? Do you need to try something new? Do you need step up and play a little bigger? Are you unhappy with what you are working on? Perhaps you can take the time and energy you are using to feel envious and annoyed into your creative work and focus on being and doing better yourself.
So use your jealousy as a force for good and allow it some air! Take steps to protect yourself from feelings of jealousy by seeing it is normal and giving compassion to both you and the person you are jealous of; understand they ways and times in which you are triggered into it, be mindful of the content you are consuming about other writers and also use the jealousy as a way of understanding yourself better and ultimately creating better work, because of what is reveals to you and what it teaches you about yourself.
Thank you Sarah!
Sarah Raad is a mindset and business coach for creative women. Sarah has almost 20 years’ experience as a creative business owner and offer 1:1 and group coaching as well as running workshops and her membership on Substack. You can find out more about her work on her website, Substack or Instagram, and can book in a free discovery call with her here.
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A live journaling for success session on Sunday 29 September at 7pm uk time
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That’s the end of this mini series. I hope you enjoyed it and that the content was useful. A lot of the time in this email, I try to focus on the practical side of marketing your work, but the mindset side is huge, and is often overlooked.
If you’d like to read more about building a strong author mindset, have a look at this post from author coach Kelly Weekes:
And if you’d like me to tackle other author mindset issues (I feel like there are a lot), please do get in touch or leave a comment with ideas. I’m always up for approaching people to write something on a particular topic or writing something myself, if I think I have something useful to share!
Such practical and kind advice!